Woman Forbids Her Dad from Cooking for Her Children After He Attempts to Feed Them Expired Food, Resulting in Heated Father-Daughter Dispute

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 12, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Hello, tea-loving ladies. I think we can all agree that food waste is a bad thing. We've all seen the videos of dumpsters filled with day-old bagels and croissants from a bakery or 'ugly' - yet perfectly good- veggies from a grocery store. Now, with the internet at our fingertips, we can learn all sorts of tips and tricks for keeping our herbs, vegetables, and fruits fresh for longer. Modern kitchen tech can also keep breads and cereals from going stale. There is perhaps, though, such thing as taking it too far, as in today's story.

After deciding to have burgers for dinner, a woman's father proceeded to take out 3-year old meat from the freezer to make the patties. While it is technically true that meat can stay edible indefinitely in a freezer, the quality of the meat does deteriorate, and most things that are stored for a long while eventually get that freezer-burn taste. Instead of considering other options, the woman's father doubled down and called her 'dramatic'. Read below for all the different takes on this father-daughter dispute.

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAs u/dadsburgersthrway 1d . AITA for telling my father he's no longer allowed to cook for my kids?
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  • 02
    My (30F) father (60s) shops like a doomsday prepper. Whenever he gets groceries, he buys enough to feed a family of 5. He's also the type to buy food he doesn't plan on eating anytime soon, "just in case" he craves it. This has always been a problem. When I was younger, my sister and I spent more time at our mom's place, and weren't there often enough to eat much. Nowadays, he lives alone, so even less of what he buys is eaten.
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  • 03
    The result has always been the same: a lot of the food he buys ends up either spoiled or sitting in a freezer until the end of time. We've never eaten anything that's rotten or moldy, but my dad has always refused to listen when I tell him this is bad for his health. My family went to his place for dinner about a week ago. I arrived earlier to help my father out, as he planned on making burgers. My husband would come later with our kids (5M and 2F).
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  • 04
    I had offered to buy some burgers when we decided on them, but my father had said he had some at his place. I didn't think about what that could mean until I saw him pull a box of burgers and some cheese from the very bottom of the freezer. As both had clearly been there a while, I checked the expiration dates. The cheese expired in February (I know dairy products can last longer frozen, but still). The burgers expired in March 2021. I asked my father if he actually planned on cooking that food.
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  • 05
    I told him I didn't care how edible he thought the food was, the meat was older than my daughter. We could think about something else to make or I could have my husband pick up some burgers on his way to my dad's place, but I didn't want my kids eating that. My father got offended. He started going on about how the food was safe and how a dozen nutritionists (AKA some guys his girlfriend found on TikTok) had said so. He said he couldn't believe I didn't trust him.
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  • 06
    He continued talking about how dramatic I was being for a while. I was very upset at the way he responded. Finally, I said: "My kids aren't eating that, and I don't want you cooking for them again. Either (husband's name) buys the burgers or we're not staying for dinner." My husband ended up buying the burgers. We ate them peacefully and no one fought in front of the kids.
    via Au/dadsburgersthrway
  • 07
    The next day, my father told me he was upset by what I'd said. He said he felt offended that I'd "accuse him of putting his grandchildren in danger" like that. I told him that wasn't my intention, I just didn't want to feed my kids 3 year old meat, and he refused to listen to me.
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  • 08
    My dad's still insisting I'm being dramatic. My husband is completely on my side, but thinks forbidding my father from cooking for our children might have been a little too much. AITA? 3,678 Ⓒ 778 D
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  • 09
    Independent-Wheel354 1d Partassipant [3] NTA. It's a question of trust. Food hoarders are gross and have no issues harming other people in serving rotten food. The burgers were probably fine but next time the eggs, chicken, etc might not be. Saying "please don't serve my very young children expired food" is reasonable. Him getting upset about that would imply he's fine with serving them bad stuff when you're not around. Reply 5.3k
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  • 10
    dadsburgersthrway OP. 1d That's my point. If I don't want this to keep happening, I can't allow it to. ... 2.1k
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  • 11
    Shadows_Assassin • 1d NTA - Would I eat burgers that've been sitting in the freezer for a year of two? Yeah, probably, nothing wrong with them in my eyes. Would I serve them to someone else? On the very very rare off chance they thawed and refroze, prooooobably not... Reply 704
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  • 12
    Longjumping-Lab-1916. 1d Certified Proctologist [24] During the pandemic my spouse ate strawberry freezer jam that we'd made a while ago. When I say "a while ago", my son would have at most been 5yo when we went strawberry picking and made jam. He turns 27 this year. I know this because my younger kid wasn't even born when we went and she turned 20 this year.
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  • 13
    No problem and apparently it tasted very good. Would i eat frozen burgers 3 years past there BB date? I dunno, probably not because I'm squeamish. Pretty sure my spouse would though. I think it wouldn't be unsafe but I'd rather my kids didn't eat them. 50
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  • 14
    WelfordNelferd • 1d Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] NAH. The burgers didn't expire in March 2021, that's just the "best by" date. So the texture/color/flavor may not have been the greatest, but they weren't spoiled/rotten because they had been kept in the freezer. It's totally up to you if you're not comfortable having your kids eat them, but your Dad is right that he wouldn't have been putting anyone in danger. Reply 271
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  • 15
    Laleaky • 1d Who knows when he put that meat in the freezer, though? Since he doesn't follow common food safety guidelines, I wouldn't trust his food. 187
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  • 16
    Inannas Pocket ⚫ 1d Certified Proctologist [22] Yeah. I've definitely eaten 3 year old frozen meat and fed it to my kid (after tasting) ... from my own freezer that I know for certain was never defrosted, and know the meat put directly into the freezer while already frozen.
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  • 17
    But I wouldn't trust grandpa in this situation either. If he has a lot of rotting food in the fridge, did he let the beef go bad before freezing it? Has it been defrosted and refrozen? If he's a food hoarder, he probably doesn't even know, even if he wouldn't be dishonest about it. ... ← 58
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  • 18
    dadsburgersthrway OP. 1d your Dad is right that he wouldn't have been putting anyone in danger Absolutely. I'd never accuse him of that.
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  • 19
    WelfordNelferd • 1d Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] Then I don't understand what your beef was with it. Just that they might not have tasted the greatest? 1 44
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  • 20
    dadsburgersthrway OP. 1d My main issue was that it might be a concern for my children's health (though I'm aware it's unlikely), but it was also because this isn't the first time this happens. We've had problems with actual food spoilage before, and I don't want this to extend to my children. I was also upset by his response during our argument. 84
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  • 21
    Temporary_Nail_6468 • 1d I have a degree in food science and worked in food manufacturing for over 20 years. I also recently found ground beef in the bottom of my freezer with 2021 and 2022 dates in it. And made chili and spaghetti sauce out of it because perfectly safe and if it's highly spiced then any off flavors from being in the freezer for a long time are covered up. Steak might have a bad texture but that's not a problem with ground beef. Also found some vacuum sealed chicken breasts with
    via Au/dadsburgersthrway
  • 22
    Love how people will complain about food waste and then waste perfectly safe food. Edit: also bought $70 worth of freezer basket organizers so hopefully won't happen again. 130
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  • 23
    OkChampionship1791. 1d it comes from a place of feeling uncertain about the future and i think what you said probably hit him right in the feels. i wouldnt wanna eat old stuff from dads freezer, and i think if you were in a position where you had to keep reasserting your boundaries, itd b hard to just keep repeating yourself so you have to add an explanation, but part of his delusion re too much food is being a provider.
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  • 24
    theres prbly a way to acknowledge the conscious aspects of his beliefs towards food while also highlighting the unsavoury aspect in that specific. instance. youre NTA, dealing with other peoples mental unwellness is a skill not a joy 50
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  • 25
    palefire101 1d · <<the meat was older than my daughter!" Reply 107
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  • 26
    Sinusayan 1d • Partassipant [1] NAH. According to the USDA, not TikTok or whatever source you don't trust, ground beef is good indefinitely if frozen, but its quality is compromised, and it likely won't taste great. So I get why you refused it, but your father isn't wrong. Might be a slight AH for insulting him, but he's a slight AH for not considering your feelings. None of this needs to be something to fight over. Reply 85
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  • 27
    Confident_Macaron_15. 1d Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA - it's totally fair that you were concerned for your kids, and I think it's great that you had a conversation about it with your dad the next day. I would say never letting him cook for your kids again is a little extreme though. You had a conflict, shared your concerns, and it was resolved - it's actually pretty healthy communication! I would just continue to be open with your dad on your boundaries about food, and give him the chance to foll
    via Au/dadsburgersthrway
  • 28
    dadsburgersthrway OP. 1d Sorry to hear about your dad. I think there were many reasons why I told him I don't want him cooking for the kids anymore. Mostly I was disappointed in how defensive he got and how he kept calling me dramatic and overprotective when he responded. But another major reason is that this isn't the first time this (very) old food situation has happened, and I don't think it will be the last. So if I'm not comfortable with this extending to my children, I can't allow it anymo
    via Au/dadsburgersthrway
  • 29
    ihavemanyanimals • 1d nta, I wasn't allowed to eat at my great grandmas as a kid for this exact reason. Hers was due to growing up during the Great Depression, but I will never forget when she tried to serve me green corn dogs 64 ... ← Reply
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